||2|| [Video]

[waitsforever]

[Forgive Rory, this is going to be a little bit Blair Witch. The camera's right up to his face for a bit--wow, screen full of nose--and then he fixes it, pulls it a bit away. He's breathing heavily, and trying to keep an eye on the camera and off beside him at the same time, and when he speaks, he's trying to keep his voice low.]

There...iiiis...a minotaur after me, a minotaur and a...thing. A goblin or something.

[The camera shakes a bit as he turns it to try and film along the wall beside him, the wall he's pressed up against, maaaybe to go around the edge, show around the corner...

And then a brief glimpse of the beasts, sniffing about, before they look straight at the camera, and the minotaur bellows.]

Shit!

[The video goes flailing, wild, Rory is off running again.

Sudden glimpses of narrow streets around him

and the goblin-thing, coming up towards him, hands reaching out toward the camera

and then bits of the city

the ground

up at Rory, from under his chin, he's tripped and he's pushing himself up again

alleyway

sky through the tops of buildings

and then a door, about halfway into frame on an angle, door opens, Rory hustles in and slams it behind him, up some stairs, down a hall, and then he slides down against the wall there, panting, trying to fumble the camera back to face him. He has a bit of trouble framing the words.]

So...what are they? Are they always here? What does this city have against me handing in my CV?! Because it's done this twice, now! I mean, the first time, it was a giant purple dog, and this time it's...those things. I know it's unprofessional, but is there a hospital email I can send it to? Because this is kind of ridiculous.

[A sound off to the side and Rory looks, and then gapes.]

How'd you--!

[His shoulders fall briefly in defeat, and then he scrambles to his feet and runs off again, ending the video with a thumb as he does so.]

Comments

[designedtoparty]

You know, the whole home made horror is kind of old school now. And I don't meant that in the good way.

[waitsforever.livejournal.com]

This isn't a movie, this is my life.

[designedtoparty]

That's what they say in the films, too. You're getting more and more unoriginal by the second.

[waitsforever.livejournal.com]

Is that...just what you do? Go through the Network being completely unhelpful?!

voice.

[waitedforyears.livejournal.com]

What did I tell you?

voice.

[waitedforyears.livejournal.com]

Can't leave you alone for just a minute, can I. [But her tone says that maybe she's worried about you. A little.]

voice.

[waitsforever.livejournal.com]

[Rory's voice is exaggeratedly long-suffering.]

Don't worry, Amy, I've got this sorted. They're bound to get bored eventually. I...think.

voice.

[waitedforyears.livejournal.com]

Who'd get bored chasing after you. [Because she... never actually chased after him. In the figurative sense not, at least. There might have been some chasing and playing tag, years ago.]

voice.

[waitsforever.livejournal.com]

I wasn't aware I was that chaseable. Not until now, at least, I'm apparently...skilled at being bait.

[Action] If you want.

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

[Buffy is out with her scythe doing the patrol thing. She never thought that she'd have to patrol against carousel animals. She turns a corner and practically runs into Rory. With slayer reflexes, she reaches out and grabs his bicep to keep both of them on their feet.]

What's the rush? Somehow I'm thinking it's not a BOGO sell at the shoe store.

[Action] HECK YES

[waitsforever.livejournal.com]

[Instinctively, based on years and years of Amy, Rory stops. Not to mention, Slayer-strength=lots more than non-Auton Rory strength.

And then his brain catches up. Sort of.]

O-oh god.

[He's making a valiant attempt at rationality but he's had a very trying day thus far and he's just doing his best now to not blurt something like "YOU'RE BUFFY" or worse, how many fantasies he's had involving her. How many times---

No. Stay away from that. Don't come over Freudian on Buffy (BUFFY!), when she, and your wife can make your life a living hell.]

No....no...not shoes, there's--- There's a minotaur. And a goblin. Goblin-thing. [He snaps his mouth shut and then opens it again briefly, gapes a bit and finally, daftly, says:] Hi.

[Way to go, there, he thinks bitterly. Some of the old Williams Charm, right on track. Not that he would go for her, never cheat on Amy, ever but...well, it would be nice if Buffy thought him suave, is all. Just. Nice. And then maybe talk Amy 'round into a threesome lat---NO DON'T THINK THAT.]

Re: [Action] HECK YES

[whattingawhat.livejournal.com]

It's okay. I'm good at goblin-things. Minotaur...in theory I'm good. [she glances back over her shoulder and then back smiling at Rory.] Hi. We've talked on the network. I'm Buffy and I'll be saving you today. Or at least killing the things chasing you.

Re: [Action] HECK YES

[waitsforever.livejournal.com]

Heh.

[And that was a brief, awkward smile there--OH GOD CAN HE HIDE BEHIND HIMSELF--and then he nods and tries to get more serious and casual. Or as casual as a man can be with a fictional dream girl and a minotaur and goblin after him. That she is going to kill. Phwoar.]

Yes! Yes, we did, and I...am...Rory! Though...you would know that becaaause you knew we'd talked. Right. So, should I....where do I go? Would I be in the way? Should I keep running?

Text

[child-radical.livejournal.com]

Go for the eyes if it gets to close. Also avoid the ones that look like gumdrops.

Text

[waitsforever.livejournal.com]

With what, exactly?

And what's wrong with the gumdrops, big hidden mouth full of enormous teeth or something?

Text

[child-radical.livejournal.com]

They turn people into candy.

[reed4context.livejournal.com]

This doesn't happen regularly, no. Are you all right?

[waitsforever.livejournal.com]

If "all right" means "still alive", then, yes.

There are two monsters after me.

[reed4context.livejournal.com]

"Still alive" is a start.

They seem quite persistent. I don't suppose you can defend yourself?

unintentional audio;

[pyromatique.livejournal.com]

What the fuck is a minotaur...?

audio;

[waitsforever.livejournal.com]

[Said quietly, because this is answered when Rory is still hiding around corners.]

It's a thing from Greek mythology. Huge man with the head and tail of a bull that wants to eat me.

text;

[pyromatique.livejournal.com]

[lucky for you, Rory, he'll answer with text just so you don't get eaten by said huge man]

How huge?

action.

[waitedforyears.livejournal.com]

[It's a good thing Amy's got quite some practice running, 'cause she just ran from the TARDIS to Rory's current position, and she expects there to be quite some more running in the near future.

For now, though, she sees the minotaur and.. oh. It's a little bigger than she expected, admittedly. Never one to let such a thing slow her down, she pauses just long enough to shout at the minotaur.]

Hey ugly. Leave my husband alone. [Not her wittiest words, she'll admit.]

action.

[waitsforever.livejournal.com]

[At this point, two sounds have become fairly regular ones for Rory: the loud banging sound of the minotaur charging into the door, and the goblin trying to scrabblescratch its way back in through the window. So when the banging stops, Rory tenses immediately, straining for sounds, and therefore literally stumbles backward a few paces when he hears Amy outside.

Oh god. Oh no, Amy came, well, of course she came, she does that, she never listens to him and she said she was going to but...no. NO.]

AMY!

[And then he wishes he hadn't yelled that, what if it's going to distract her just long enough for the minotaur to get at her? Nothing for it, he HAS to get out there. So he starts pulling down the barricade he constructed. He's not entirely certain what he can do when he gets out there (just please please let it be in time) but he can't stay on one side of the door with a minotaur and Amy on the other.]

action.

[designedtoparty]

[Nathan's been briefly distracted on his way over (what kind of idiot leaves perfectly good sweets lying all over the floor?), but at least he's here now. Since he's unwilling to part with the metal piping he's nicked from who knows where, he doesn't have much choice but to toss some of the sweets from his pocket at the minotaur's head to distract him from Amy.]

Hey! Cunt with the horns. Didn't anyone ever tell your mum it's kind of gross to sleep with a cow?