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||13|| [Audio]

I still remember it. Most of it. It didn’t go away after everything came back. And, yes, I know I’m being cryptic, but that’s on purpose because I actually really don’t want to talk about this but I don’t think I can stop talking until I do. Properly. Which is typical.

I died. I mean, once. Properly. I was actually really dead. Not just…dead in a dream, or nearly dead, or clinically dead for 10 seconds. I was shot, and then I died, and then I sort of never existed.

Doctor? Can you stop me, please, or cut the signal or…

There were these cracks. Cracks in space and time and Doctor, you really shouldn’t be listening to this. Amy had one in her room when she was a kid, and there was one right beside where I was shot, and I was sucked into it, or something. I don’t know. I wasn’t exactly alive for that part. Only then I woke up in Ancient Britain as an Ancient Roman and it was…really confusing. Because I remembered being Roman. I have my whole childhood there in my head, even though it didn’t happen, but it’s there, all my memories of…Roman…life, and Roman…stuff. [In Latin.] I can still... I can speak like this if I concentrate. [In English again.] My name was Gaius Valerius Constantius…Nasica and I was a Centurion, a really young one, actually, but I was really good and had an important family—which is ridiculous, really, because I was rubbish in gym class, but I had to be good, because I had to be a centurion. Because Amy remembered me being a centurion. It was just fancy dress for a party, and Amy fancied Romans, so I went as one.

It wasn’t even real, though. I wasn’t real. I was me, and then I was also Roman in my head, but I was actually a plastic robot thing. An Auton. And I… There was… I….

Amy didn’t remember me. We were engaged, before I was erased from time, and then she didn’t remember me at all. The Doctor did, but Amy…I dunno, I was just another soldier to her at the start. But I had to push it, I mean, the Doctor encouraged me but it was my fault, I wanted her to remember me. [He sighs. He’s starting to sound really unhappy.] So I sort of…came and talked to her, and she was happy and didn’t know why, and it was almost alright, and then they switched off the Roman, sort of, or switched on the Auton and they controlled me. The Nestene Consciousness. And then I shot Amy.

I don’t want to talk anymore. It’s not…I’ve said enough. I’m sorry.

I have it in my head, though. There was a way to save Amy, keeping her in…this box, and we had to wait until she could touch it in the future, when she was seven. So I stayed to make sure nothing happened to her. I wasn’t human, really, and I had to. It was my fault she was there at all. I’m 21 physically but….behind a sort of door in my head, there’s 1900 years of memory, and experience and I usually keep it shut but the City isn’t letting me, today. I just…I don’t…

I’m sorry.

[ooc: Rory is cursed with My Dirty Little Secret today, cursed to talk about ALL 1915 YEARS as the Lone Centurion. Ask him anything. NO REALLY. He will have to answer. And I will, of course, try my VERY HARDEST but I am not even close to being a History major. So mistakes are my fault, not Rory's. Pretend he didn't make them. Or correct me. He posted this at a reasonable time in the morning, too. Forward-dated. I'm just worried I'll sleep in too late.]

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Rory.

~~Why did you never--~~

~~All of it?~~

[ Wherever you are right now, Rory, a little after her first comment Amy is coming in to the room and grabs your hand. She is also Not Dealing With This. ]

C'mon. We're going out.

[Rory looks a little bit like a deer caught in headlights.]

Wh-- You don't--I... You aren't...

...

Where are we going?

Out. [ Her tone says you're stupid. And also being dragged along by your very determined wife right now. No, she has no idea where they're going. ]

Right. [He will let himself be dragged, as per usual.] Look, I'm....I'm sorry.

What're ye sorry for? [ This is Amy speak for "just let it go." Yes, she's going to ignore this as much as she can. ]

[God, he WISHES, but this is a curse, and that was a direct question.] Shooting you, mostly. Sorry. It's... Cursed.

[ NOT. DEALING. Amy turns her head away, like the can block the sound if she doesn't see his mouth moving. ] Right.

[Rory nods, even if she can't see it. He's also visibly drooping. But following after. Right.]

[ Walking (aka dragging Rory along) in silence is better than dealing with any of this in Amy's book, so that's what she's doing. She's decided that they're going to the beach. To have a good time. ]

[Okay, well. Rory is actually a little bit scared of Amy right now, so the silence is good. He can keep not mentioning things as long as she doesn't ask. And as long as he keeps spreading it all across the rest of the Network, sob.]

[ And because magically, time has passed, they're at the beach now. And it's a little more quiet than Amy would have liked, but there's some shops. ] Let's get ice cream.

Alright. [And he will just...quietly and automatically pay for Amy's ice cream when they're in the shop.]

[ And Amy links their arms and licks her ice cream and pulls him along the beach promenade. Just wandering about. It's a nice day. This is nice. Isn't it? ]

[The juxtaposition of being sad and nervous, while ~~and at the same time~~ eating ice cream and walking on a beach with Amy is making him feel just a little bit hysterical. He actually makes a small, stifled giggling sound.]

[ A laugh. Amy doesn't care that it's hysterical and not particularly happy. It's a laugh. Laughter is good. Laughter means they're not talking about Rory dying and being erased from the history of the universe and about the Doctor sacrificing herself and all the bad things that happened. Because there's nothing to talk about. It all turned out fine in the end. ]

[Rory lets them walk along in basic silence for a while, arms linked and eating ice cream until he finishes eating his.]

Amy?

[ No. No, no, no. Talking is bad today. ] Yeah?

[He just wants to know which part she's avoiding, sob. Stopping them, he reaches to put his hand gently to her cheek, to the side of her head.]

I won't if you... But I... May I?

[He knows he can't make Amy talk. It's not an Amy thing. He's not even sure he'll learn anything out of this. But maybe he will be able to, and at the very least, it's another moment he's had with her. God, he's a sap and an overthinker. A gloomy git. Putting too much relevance into things. He wishes he could just push them aside like Amy, sometimes.]

[ The hand on her cheek does soften her up a bit. Rory might be the more sappy one out of the two of them, but that doesn't mean Amy is made of stone. ] Hmm?

Well, just. I'm sorry. You know I really mean I am, right? It's not just...me saying it... [And then, a bit hesitantly, Rory leans in and kisses her. Ice cream flavours.]

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